Thursday, March 26, 2015

** Audibly sighing ***

You book your wedding appointment 10 days before ... you want to have the max # of guests I allow (+4) ... you want to bring your dog ... I agree to all these things (date, time, guests, dog) ...
What I request: 
1. Have everyone arrive together at the time of your appointment, not separately and not before
2. Wait outside with the dog & guests. Let me know you're here since we have dogs in the office and I'd like to be the one to let you in making sure none of our dogs get out in the process.
3. I remind you that there is a 4 person max (including children and photographers, if you have any coming)
What you do: 
- your mom, dad, and grandma arrive at 3:20
- additional guests begin congregating outside my office putting the guest count at +5 as best I can see and you're not even here yet
- you're running late (but don't bother to call me) - your mom is kindly advising "they're almost here" between 3:45 - your arrival at 4:10
- you come right in with your dog (without calling first) - your dog has a handler - putting your guest count at +6 ... and at least 4-5 more start coming in and congregating in the foyer

What I do: 
- I'm nice enough to hustle the crowd because I just want to get you in/out and get to the work I've been neglecting for an hour because I can't leave your early arrivals unattended (and I have something to get done before a crawfish boil which is getting amped up to start)
- I've already told on you to your mother, father, and grandmother - feeling the need to explain why I look frustrated & have reached the point of frustration that I am audibly *sighing* as I see the # of guests increasing exponentially outside the window
- I perform the wedding in a giant cluster of people because there is no way to arrange the room nicely for pictures
- I'm super sweet to your dog and guests
- I finish the ceremony and ask your guests to wait outside rather than congratulating and cheering inside because there are just too many people to be reasonably quiet - reminding them there were only supposed to be 4
- When alone, I ask if you remember our conversation and all the things you promised (spurred on by your apology for being late & statement - I didn't expect this many people, "it was a surprise to us too") and tell you these are the reasons I've considered not allowing guests at future weddings (which I see hits the spot because you're not actually rude - despite scoring a zero on my requests)
- I politely chastise you and let you know that I explained to your mother why I look frustrated ...

* I'm pretty sure your mom and dad are going to lecture you about all of this later ... mom was gracious and thanked me ... dad specifically thanked me for my patience. They both clearly understood the frustration factor ~ trying to offer alternatives to make up for your behavior. I'm confident they're a little disappointed in you.

What I'm doing now: 
Drinking a Guinness with the pup ... and waiting for the first office crawfish boil of 2015 to begin - thanks to AWESOME folks like C, D, & O
** I feel better ~ thanks for letting me vent to you, O, and to you gee-i-do-too followers  ... heart emoticon