Consummating ...

Currently my favorite actual voice mail message:

"Hi, this is ---.  We just obtained our marriage license today and we're trying to see if you have availability today or as soon as possible, if we could go ahead and get it consummated."

Missed call ...

Actual message: 

"Hi, this is Love. I'm calling to see if you are available to perform a wedding today or tomorrow ..."

**Caller ID shows a Missed Call from Love. Story of my life ......

 ________________

I'm thinking if you don't know what to call it. You probably shouldn't be doing it....

Actual message:

"Hi, this is ---. I'm calling to confirm that you are scheduled on --- to officiate our, umm, I don't what that would be considered, but we're getting married with you on ---."


**Another one of those moments I'm glad it was a voice mail, and not an actual conversation or I may have said something like ... umm, yeah, it's called a wedding, duh. I'm scheduled to officiate YOUR WEDDING.

_____________


Actual message:

"Hi, this is --, I'm wondering if you're available to do ... a what? ... (then I hear her talking to the fiance' presumably "Babe, what is it a wedding? Is that what it is?") ... okay, yeah, I'm wondering if you're available to do a wedding?"

_____________


**I'm thinking, if you don't know what to call it.  You probably shouldn't be doing it.

_____________

And sometimes it's what you don't say, or can't answer ...

It's not unusual to get calls from the courthouse asking if I'm available to perform a wedding on the spot.  Some days, I prefer those kinds of calls/appointments to the ones that schedule in advance and then don't bother to show up, call, cancel, or reschedule.  Many of these no-shows are poached by the crazy internet ministers who stand outside our courthouse just looking for the tell-tale manilla envelope.  Nothing says LOVE more than the manilla envelope.  Except perhaps, the information the Commonwealth includes with the license INSIDE that envelope.  But, that's a story for another day .... 

A lot of times, I don't need to add anything but the actual dialogue of my calls to make them blog-worthy.  Today was one of those days.

Him:  Hi, we'd like to make an appointment for a wedding.

Me: When are you interested in? 

 Him: Right now

Me:  Okay, you can come over to my office.  First, let me just get a little information from you.

Him: Okay

Me: What is your name?

Him: Oh. Hold on ... <and he puts her on the phone to answer>

... seriously?  If he can't answer THAT question, are you sure you REALLY want to marry him?  (No, I didn't ACTUALLY say this to her, but c'mon ... seriously?)