I take you ... again ...

Occasionally I get a call to perform a ceremony for a couple that had a cultural ceremony (typically African) already back in their home country and are simply looking to renew their vows and legalize their wedding here in the United States.  I got one of those calls today from the courthouse and agreed that they could come over right away.  They needed to finish by 11:30 and it was already almost 11.  While completing the paperwork for them (quickly because of the 11:30 deadline) I discovered that they had already had a cultural ceremony in their country.  While talking about their cultural ceremony and how both families are typically involved in the ceremony, I asked how long ago it was ... they said 3 years.  I just laughed and said, "wow, take your time, you don't want to rush in to anything." Seeing the humor in the 11:30 deadline when they've had 3 years to do this, they laughed too.

While performing the ceremony itself, I "tweaked" a few places to reflect that they were marrying each other again. 

First, I had the bride repeat the vows after me.
  ((I [NAME] take you [NAME] again, to be my wedded husband.  To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.  I promise to love you, cherish you, and be faithful to you, for as long as we both shall live.))


Then, I had the groom repeat the vows after me ... which is where we all got another good laugh ... again.

Me:  I [NAME] take you [NAME]
Him: I [NAME] take you [NAME]
Me: again
Him: I [NAME] take you [NAME]
Me:  again
Him:  I [NAME] take you [NAME]



At this point the bride and I lost it laughing and both said, no I [NAME] take you [NAME] AGAIN to be my wedded wife.

After we regained control of our laughter -  he made his way through the rest of the vows.  As they walked out the door of my building - he turned around and with a very wide grin said "Thank you ... AGAIN!!"

... and sometimes it's the celebrant that makes the faux pas!

There is a part of a wedding ceremony, where The Bride and The Groom look at each other and repeat vows to each other as prompted by the marriage celebrant. They go something like this (I'll use "Bride" and "Groom" where actual names should be):

I, Bride,
take you, Groom,
to be my wedded husband.
To have and to hold
from this day forward
for better, for worse
for richer, for poorer
in sickness, and in health
I promise to love you,
Cherish you,
And be faithful to you,
For as long as we both shall live.

The amount of words I say for them to repeat at one time often depends on their nervousness, and in the case of non-native-English speakers, their comfort with English. Sometimes I break the last line up in to much smaller pieces ... "for as long" ... "as we both" ... "shall live." Sometimes, I don't. Sometimes, I wish I had.

Recently, while performing a ceremony for non-native English speakers, after having the English-as-a-second-language Bride repeat "for as long as we both shall live" ... I followed with "I was afraid that might be too long" meaning the number of words for her comfort level with English, not for the period of time they should love & live.

Thankfully it was just the 3 of us and they both had a good sense of humor.

For the record, she did just fine. I wish I could say the same for me.