Things that should never be said, heard, or done during a wedding ceremony ... (We'll just call this PART ONE, since we all know there will be more ...)
(1) another woman's name during the vows
(2) stuffed animals should never speak during the vows even if they are dressed in a tuxedo and gown and the humans are dressed in dirty jeans and sweats
(3) the word fornication should never EVER never EVER be said during the ceremony, for any reason
(4) the phrase "fabrications in your heads" should really never be part of the ceremony, really
(5) the phrase "you commit to do what your partner needs sexually and sensually" should never be something the wedding celebrant has to say as part of the ceremony, really
(6) the question "are you ready and willing to try your best to hold your commitment to each other" just seems inappropriate for a wedding vow ... it sounds like you're already admitting defeat
(7) telling the celebrant that there will be a ring exchange and then "faking it" because you think rings are required ... and thinking the celebrant won't notice ~
Some things that should never be said while scheduling the wedding ceremony:
(1) does he need to be there? (and yes, by "he" - the bride was, in fact, referring to the groom)
(2) oh, no I don't need your address, you are in the same building as [NAME], right? ... because she performed my last wedding
Some things that you never want to learn after the wedding ceremony:
(1) Can I get an annulment? that was the WORST night of my life!
(2) I received this voice mail message about a year after performing the wedding. It relays some very tragic news and some even more disturbing information: "umm, I was wondering if we could get our wedding annulled? we had a baby, and the baby died because we are first cousins. my mother and his mother are sisters and they have the same mother"
(*** if you want to know more about any of these - just let me know and I'll blog more about that "incident" ***)
Oh My Gosh what the heck is wrong with people?
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